What’s the difference between surrogate partner therapy and somatic sex coaching?

Both modalities are experiential and emphasize the importance of embodiment in relation to intimacy and sexuality. Somatic sex coaching focuses on individual exploration and growth in relation to sexuality, while surrogate partner therapy involves a more hands-on and relational approach to addressing intimacy and relationship issues within a therapeutic context.

what is meant by experiential?

Experiential refers to a learning or therapeutic approach that involves direct personal experience, active participation, and hands-on activities. In the context of surrogate partner therapy or somatic sex coaching, an experiential approach emphasizes the importance of engaging in structured exercises, role-plays, and real-life experiences to promote personal growth, self-awareness, and behavioral change. Experiential therapy is rooted in the belief that personal transformation and healing occur through direct engagement with experiences, rather than just through verbal communication or intellectual understanding. It encourages clients to access their inner wisdom, tap into their creativity, and connect with their emotions through embodied practices and sensory-based techniques.

How do you ensure boundaries and ethics are maintained in surrogate partner therapy?

In surrogate partner therapy, it's important to prioritize your safety, comfort, and well-being by ensuring that boundaries and ethics are maintained throughout the therapy process. Here's how we ensure a safe and ethical environment during our sessions:

• Clear roles and responsibilities: We will clearly outline the roles and responsibilities of the therapist, surrogate partner, and yourself at the beginning of the therapy. This will help everyone understand their part in the process and what to expect from each other.

• Informed consent: Before starting the therapy, we will have a detailed conversation about what the therapy entails, the goals we hope to achieve, and any risks involved. Your informed consent is crucial, and we want to make sure you feel comfortable and fully understand the process.

• Confidentiality: Your privacy is of utmost importance, and all information shared during our sessions will be kept confidential. We will not disclose any information unless required by law or for ethical reasons.

• Professional supervision: Our sessions will be overseen by a licensed therapist who is trained in surrogate partner therapy. The therapist will provide guidance, support, and ensure that the therapy is conducted in a professional and ethical manner.

• Boundaries around physical touch: We will establish clear boundaries around physical touch and intimacy between the surrogate partner and yourself. It's important to agree on what types of touch are allowed and set limits to ensure your comfort and safety.

• Regular communication: We encourage open and honest communication throughout the therapy process. If you have any concerns, questions, or changes in your feelings or boundaries, feel free to discuss them with us so we can address them together.

How long does surrogate partner therapy typically last, and how often do sessions occur?

The duration and frequency of surrogate partner therapy can vary based on individual needs, goals, and progress. Typically, surrogate partner therapy may last several months to a year, with sessions occurring weekly or bi-weekly. However, the exact length of therapy and session frequency will depend on the specific circumstances and progress of the client.

What qualifications and training do surrogate partners typically have?

Surrogate partners undergo specialized training focusing on boundaries, ethics, communication skills, and intimacy issues to work effectively with clients. Many surrogate partners, including myself, also receive ongoing supervision from experienced professionals to ensure they provide safe and effective therapy.

Is surrogate partner therapy appropriate for everyone, or are there specific criteria for potential clients?

Surrogate partner therapy may not be suitable for everyone, and there are specific criteria that potential clients should consider before engaging in this type of therapy. Here are some factors to consider to determine if surrogate partner therapy is appropriate for you:

• Willingness and readiness: Clients should be willing and ready to engage in a therapeutic process that involves physical touch, intimacy exercises, and emotional exploration. It's essential to be open to the therapeutic process and actively participate in the sessions.

• Clear goals: Clients should have clear goals and objectives for participating in surrogate partner therapy. Whether it's addressing intimacy issues, improving communication skills, or building self-confidence, having specific goals can help guide the therapy process and measure progress.

• Commitment to therapy: Surrogate partner therapy requires a commitment to attending sessions regularly, engaging in therapeutic exercises, and being open to personal growth and self-discovery. Clients should be able to commit to the time, energy, and effort required to participate fully in the therapy process.

• Compatibility with the surrogate partner: Establishing a strong rapport and trusting relationship with the surrogate partner is crucial for the success of therapy. Clients should feel comfortable, safe, and supported by the surrogate partner to explore their emotions, relationships, and intimacy issues.

What kinds of issues is Surrogate Partner good for?

Surrogate partner therapy can be effective in addressing a variety of intimacy, relationship, and sexuality-related issues. Some common issues that surrogate partner therapy can help treat include:

• Intimacy issues: Surrogate partners can assist individuals in developing intimacy skills, building emotional connections, and navigating physical touch in a safe and supportive environment. They can help clients explore their feelings, fears, and desires related to intimacy and develop healthy ways of expressing themselves.

• Relationship difficulties: Surrogate partner therapy can support individuals in improving communication skills, setting boundaries, and enhancing relational dynamics. Clients can learn how to navigate conflicts, build trust, and create fulfilling relationships through guided exercises and experiential learning.

• Body image concerns: Surrogate partners can help clients explore and address body image issues that may impact their self-esteem, confidence, and relationships. Through physical touch exercises and emotional exploration, clients can work towards accepting and appreciating their bodies.

• Sexual dysfunction: Surrogate partners can assist individuals in addressing sexual difficulties such as erectile dysfunction, premature ejaculation, or low sexual desire. They can provide education, guidance, and practical exercises to help clients overcome physical and emotional barriers to a fulfilling sex life.

• Social skills and self-confidence: Surrogate partner therapy can support individuals in developing social skills, improving self-esteem, and building confidence in social and intimate interactions. Clients can practice communication techniques, assertiveness, and emotional expression to enhance their interpersonal relationships.

Do you work with coupLes?

Yes, I work with couples as a coach; however, I do not engage with couples as part of the surrogate partner therapy process.

Do you have any specialties or areas of focus?

In my work as a surrogate partner I particularly love working with clients with limited sexual and relational experiences and with survivors of sexual trauma. For those with limited experience, surrogate partner therapy can provide a safe and supportive environment to explore sexuality, learn about the body, and build confidence in intimate relationships. This therapy can help people navigate their first sexual experiences with guidance, understanding, and care. For trauma survivors, surrogate partner therapy can be a crucial part of the healing process. Many trauma survivors struggle with intimacy, trust, and body image issues as a result of past experiences. Surrogate partner therapy can help people gradually work through trauma, reclaim the bodies, and rebuild a sense of safety and empowerment in intimate settings. Surrogate partner therapy can provide a compassionate and individualized approach to help survivors heal and rediscover pleasure and connection.